I have been so horrible about blogging lately. The good thing...its because ive actually been somewhat busy! We had our baby shower last week which was everything i would have hoped for. My friends throw great parties and this was no exception. I'm so thankful to have experienced this with my friends and family. I know i have said it before, but a baby shower and this whole pregnancy experience is something i thought i would never have.
Our house is quickly filling up with baby items. Its still crazy to hold a baby onesie or see diapers sitting around my house. Its crazy, a bit scary and very exciting.

We are getting really close! At my 32 week apt today, my dr and i discussed how things are looking at this point. Everything at the moment points toward a successful, close to full term birth! I have an apt at 34 weeks and he said at that point i will be free to come off most of my strict bedrest restrictions. He also said that he thinks we will most likely induce at 36-37 weeks due to my heart condition. We want to make sure everyone is very prepared for everything. One of the things that ive been the most scared of throughout this whole thing, is being caught off guard and going into labor very quickly. Hopefully that doesnt happen within the next couple weeks...i would love for it to be a bit more planned. Im getting very very nervous, can you tell? :) Another thing..my dr told me he was going on vacation and will be gone over the next 2 weeks. I dont wanna go into labor without him being here. Please baby evie..lets hold out until 36 weeks!!!

Overall, im feeling very uncomfortable and i have officially reached that point every pregnant women reaches. When i am in a public place everyone either whispers and stares at me, or asks me if im about to pop. I am pretty huge...and im feeling it! Its all worth it...and it amazes me what the female body can go through..its rough!

Feeling more and more excited every day! :)

dr apt went as expected...same cervical measurement, holding steady at .9 cm. It seems really crazy to think about how my thought process has changed over the past 7 weeks. I mean wow .9 cm...my cervix is so freaking short, but it doesnt really worry me. Not like it did before anyway. I guess it helps to hear positive feedback from the dr and to know that im still holding steady week after week. Now dont get me wrong, just cuz im not as worried as before, does NOT mean that im ready to have her now. Everything in me wants to hold off at LEAST until 32 weeks..heck,i want to make it full term...and the thought of that not happening freaks me out a bit.

Ive been watching youtube videos of babies born at 30 weeks gestation. I then search for 31 weeks, 32 weeks and so on. It helps put it all in perspective a bit more and prepares me for what i might have to deal with if she were to be born early. What a difference a week makes! I know this is just gives me an idea of what to expect because it really depends on the baby's overall health, weight and size. My sweet baby seems to be bigger than alot of babies born at 30 weeks and i would hope the steroid shots would help her lungs. I keep picturing her with all those tubes running through her nose and mouth and its scary. Watching the videos made by parents who have been there really helps me. I watch how they talk to their babies, touch them and hold them..its beautiful and theres something about it thats so strong yet fragile at the same time.

I would encourage my friends and family members who are going to be visiting us after her delivery to look up these youtube videos too. Even though its sometimes hard to watch, i think it would help you as well. I think it will help Mike and I if you are a bit prepared to experience it with us. Yes, at this point if i delivered her, she would have a much better outcome..but there will still be obstacles to face.

We have no clue when she will arrive...we might even make it full term, but I just want my "strong heart" to be ready for a premie baby to love.

theres something new in our neighborhood of irvington that i am so excited about!!!Its a company called homespun and they've opened up a storefront on washington st. The owners are irvington residents and are the ones behind the INDIEana handicraft exchange, which is a huge event downtown featuring the handicraft vendors as well as artists and musicians.(click on the link above and visit some of the vendor's web sites...so amazingly cool!)
The store here in irvington sells modern handmade goods from local vendors and artists.
The owner has told me they have some baby items for sale, like these awesome "smart aleck" burp cloths!!! i want them!!



just another reason why i love living in irvington!!!!

you should check out mikeys new band,rugged russian bear!! he just recorded a rough accoustic demo and there are some songs on their myspace.The overall sound is very different with the full band, but you can get an idea of mike's songwriting.

http://www.myspace.com/ruggedrussianbear

Im pretty proud of him and im glad he has this artistic outlet. I know its always been a big part of his life and it seems like everything is going really well. Its nice to be getting things off the ground. They have a few shows booked and theyre getting some positive feedback!!

pregnancy stuff has been pretty uneventful since my last post, which is good!
Our house is starting to fill up with baby stuff which is very exciting! Im officially in nesting mode which is awesome and annoying at the same time. I want to go do stuff in the nursery which is impossible because i cant climb the stairs. Im gonna have to put my faith in my husband to get all of that organized. A friend of ours gave us a ton of baby clothes (like 15 totes full) so that has been alot of fun to go through!

this is the bedding i picked out. The room is going to be a pretty green, not the lavendar color like in the picture, which ironically is what the room is currently.
I think its cute..i love the birdies and trees!

siiiiiiiigh

im beyond frustrated right now. I have one tricky cervix. I went to another cervical check today and at the beginning of the ultrasound it was measuring at 3cm! The tech and i just couldnt beleive it and kept going on and on about how awesome it looked. Then within seconds it started to shorten and funnel all the way down to .7 cm! what.the.heck?!It is scary looking when it does that and i dont like it at all. It ended up lengthening again and went back up to 1.8cm while i was laying there.

I dont know if ive explained this before, but i have what they call a dynamic cervix which means that it can change at any point in time. Its hard to understand and very hard to watch when its right there in front of you on the screen. Some weeks when i go for a cervical check it wont change at all...other weeks it will.soooooo whoooo knows!

The dr came in and talked with me and at this point noone is suprised by this happening. When it happened at 23 weeks it was pretty critical that i be admitted into the hospital because we werent sure if i was having contractions and it was risky if she was born at that stage. Now at 29 weeks, its much less risky and im not having contractions.He said it was up to me but he thinks its still reasonable for me to be at home. He did say that i need to call them if i start to feel weird, have contractions or my water breaks. We both think that ill be fine for a few more weeks at least,....and i am coming up on the 32 week mark which is what we had talked about originally.

Im just getting frustrated and really over all of the measurements..all the ups and downs and worrying. I'm really trying to just focus on getting through week after week. I am still stable and there really isnt any cause for great concern at this point. Its just more waiting. The dr said i just need to try not to worry or think about it too much..and just rest. Which is what ive been doing.......

I think im pretty freaking good at resting by now.

baby evelyn at 28 weeks

this is baby evelyn at almost 28 weeks! she is so pretty and getting so big! The ultrasound was amazing today! She was in a good position this time so we were able to see her a bit more. We tried to get a 3d pic, but there was fluid and the cord in front of her face. (We are going to try that again next week!) Evie now weighs 2lbs 9ounces! The fluid level is back up to 14, which is huge compared to when it was in the dangerous range of 5 just 2 weeks ago! My cervix is still measuring at around 2cm, which is where it was last week! Dr s said we might even stop the cervical checks after next week, because at this gestational age, it isnt as important since the cervix will start to thin out normally anyway! WOW! I can hardly beleive weve made it to that point! This is such exciting news!

Honestly, it brings me to tears every time i think of the emotional rollercoaster we have been on these last couple months. At 20 weeks i was put on bedrest at home with a funneling,thinning cervix. At 24 weeks I was in danger of having her at any moment. I was rushed to icu, i had signed the consent forms for the c section and talked with all the drs on my team about delivering her that very night! Its a miracle that Ive made it to 28 weeks....and i didnt just barely make it...im stable, at home and looking at the possibilty of having her closer to term! Amazing.....amazing.....amazing!

Mike and I had a pretty intense emotional conversation last night before we went to sleep. I think the thought of actually having a baby in our lives is becoming more and more real every day. I love seeing mike so excited about it! We were just talking about our life together...when we first met 8 years ago,our wedding, little stories we remembered from dating ect..And now we are having a baby....wow!!!!!!

:)

ive realized that being at home is much more uneventful than the hospital, so the blog might be lacking in excitement. I guess thats a good thing...id rather have a boring pregnancy.

One thing is for sure...i FEEL VERY PREGNANT now! Over the past 3 weeks ive been able to tell a huge difference in the way my body feels. Its as if the 3rd trimester snuck up on me and smacked me in the face. I have major mood swings again, im hot, uncomfortable,i have perfected the prego waddle and im hungry ALLL THE TIME!!!!!!! my apetite is on hyperdrive! I can tell shes growing and im trying to keep up :)!!

My next ultrasound is in the morning at 7:45! i think they are working me in before the clinic opens, which is a good thing because that means i wont have to wait in the waiting room. Hopefully it will be a quick in and out thing as long as my measurement is still looking good. My mom is coming to stay with me tonight and taking me my apt in the morning. Its nice that shes off work for the summer so she can come up and visit alot more.

well time for more food....ive been craving pb&j and chocolate milk!!!!