siiiiiiiigh

im beyond frustrated right now. I have one tricky cervix. I went to another cervical check today and at the beginning of the ultrasound it was measuring at 3cm! The tech and i just couldnt beleive it and kept going on and on about how awesome it looked. Then within seconds it started to shorten and funnel all the way down to .7 cm! what.the.heck?!It is scary looking when it does that and i dont like it at all. It ended up lengthening again and went back up to 1.8cm while i was laying there.

I dont know if ive explained this before, but i have what they call a dynamic cervix which means that it can change at any point in time. Its hard to understand and very hard to watch when its right there in front of you on the screen. Some weeks when i go for a cervical check it wont change at all...other weeks it will.soooooo whoooo knows!

The dr came in and talked with me and at this point noone is suprised by this happening. When it happened at 23 weeks it was pretty critical that i be admitted into the hospital because we werent sure if i was having contractions and it was risky if she was born at that stage. Now at 29 weeks, its much less risky and im not having contractions.He said it was up to me but he thinks its still reasonable for me to be at home. He did say that i need to call them if i start to feel weird, have contractions or my water breaks. We both think that ill be fine for a few more weeks at least,....and i am coming up on the 32 week mark which is what we had talked about originally.

Im just getting frustrated and really over all of the measurements..all the ups and downs and worrying. I'm really trying to just focus on getting through week after week. I am still stable and there really isnt any cause for great concern at this point. Its just more waiting. The dr said i just need to try not to worry or think about it too much..and just rest. Which is what ive been doing.......

I think im pretty freaking good at resting by now.