dr apt went as expected...same cervical measurement, holding steady at .9 cm. It seems really crazy to think about how my thought process has changed over the past 7 weeks. I mean wow .9 cm...my cervix is so freaking short, but it doesnt really worry me. Not like it did before anyway. I guess it helps to hear positive feedback from the dr and to know that im still holding steady week after week. Now dont get me wrong, just cuz im not as worried as before, does NOT mean that im ready to have her now. Everything in me wants to hold off at LEAST until 32 weeks..heck,i want to make it full term...and the thought of that not happening freaks me out a bit.

Ive been watching youtube videos of babies born at 30 weeks gestation. I then search for 31 weeks, 32 weeks and so on. It helps put it all in perspective a bit more and prepares me for what i might have to deal with if she were to be born early. What a difference a week makes! I know this is just gives me an idea of what to expect because it really depends on the baby's overall health, weight and size. My sweet baby seems to be bigger than alot of babies born at 30 weeks and i would hope the steroid shots would help her lungs. I keep picturing her with all those tubes running through her nose and mouth and its scary. Watching the videos made by parents who have been there really helps me. I watch how they talk to their babies, touch them and hold them..its beautiful and theres something about it thats so strong yet fragile at the same time.

I would encourage my friends and family members who are going to be visiting us after her delivery to look up these youtube videos too. Even though its sometimes hard to watch, i think it would help you as well. I think it will help Mike and I if you are a bit prepared to experience it with us. Yes, at this point if i delivered her, she would have a much better outcome..but there will still be obstacles to face.

We have no clue when she will arrive...we might even make it full term, but I just want my "strong heart" to be ready for a premie baby to love.