im so glad i started this blog! everytime i start to feel like i just cant take it anymore, i come here and read previous posts and remember how far ive come! Today starts the countdown to baby evelyns birth! Next tuesday is the day!
Right now im just starting to get very nervous about the day in general. My excitement does overshadow these feelings, but they are still there! Even though I wont have to go through labor, I will still be in surgery and that always makes me a bit uneasy to think of. Overall, Im very thankful that after all ive been through and with the way my body feels right now...that im able to just go to sleep and wake up with a baby. Thats the way im choosing to look at it. nice and simple.
Im trying to wrap my head around the whole process of seeing her for the first time. I feel like we have bonded to a very intense degree through this trial of bedrest. There were times when i was in the hospital that i can remember trying to prepare myself for seeing her in an incubator, a tiny 2 pound baby. At our ultrasound last week she weighed 7 pounds! This is all a bit overwhelming to me. So much has changed in the last couple months and my gratitude and love is so huge, i might just explode when i see her. I cry everytime i think about it! i really dont know if ill be able to hold it together :)Im excited to say the least.
Things around the house have been going well. The nursery is done,there are cabinets in the kitchen devoted to bottles,the car seat is installed in car, and the hospital bags are packed. I think we are ready. I guess we better be, huh? Ive always said that i want to be flexible parents. I know there will be things that we have forgotten and things that we will have to learn, but i feel like we will be prepared for being new at all of this. I dont want to get upset about little things, but just learn and grow with the experience. Im sure ill have to call my moms often to ask questions and im sure ill have to send mike out to the store at 2am cuz i need something. Ive had some really great examples of mothers who i admire. Lots of people have advice and they share the ways they think we should do things, but i think every baby and every family is different. Im ready to go with the flow even though im a bit nervous.
Ive been feeling totally miserable which is to be expected i suppose. The high blood pressure wipes me out so im not able to do much. My body is very ready to be done with pregnancy. I think the csection recovery wont seem so bad after all of this. i could be wrong, but i just feel awful. I did end up going back to the hospital and requesting an echo on my heart to be done. i was getting nervous about how my heart was feeling due to the high bp. Good news...nothing has changed! My heart is still in great shape which is a huge comfort to me. I feel so much better about going into the birth and postpartum period knowing this!
Ive been having weekly apointments with my dr. Our ultrasound was awesome. She is sooo big so it was hard to see much, but what we did see was pretty awesome. She has her head burried pretty far into my pelvis and shes been that way since week 28. Its so uncomfortable and she hated the ultrasound, so she was pushing on my cervix like crazy. Guess my cervix is stronger than we thought. We got to see her open her mouth, stick out her tounge and chew on her hand.The tech said she has alot of hair :) ive been picturing her with some dark hair. Ive been stocking up on some little hair accessories. Having a girl is going to be so much fun!
I cant say it enough..but im so thankful for mike! I dont wanna sound too cliche or mushy but he really has been so awesome with this whole process. He has done so much cleaning, laundry and cooking for me. He NEVER complains...i mean NEVER. Ive tried to be really good about not nagging or asking him to do too much. Im just really thankful for him. Even when i go back to work, hes going to be sharing in alot of the parenting and i feel so great knowing that i can fully trust him with all of it! We were at a cute little cupcake shop one day and he was talking about how fun it will be to take little daddy daughter day trips to places like that. Melted my heart. Evie is going to be so spoiled. I couldnt have asked for a better husband and father!
1 week to go before delivery! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! :)
ps...im obsessed with this store! its on mass ave downtown and its just amazing!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Things had been going quite smoothly for us lately. I was taken off of my bedrest restrictions at 34 weeks, we got the nursery done, and i was even able to go out and about a bit more. I started feeling more and more miserable every day however and i started to get a bit frustrated. This time in pregnancy is rough for most normal women, and my marfan body was not helping me out. Even though i felt awful,I totally felt like i was in the clear and looking forward to a full term birth.
Once again i was reminded that this pregnancy was never planned to be easy. Wednesday night i started feeling weird. I was dizzy, had a headache and my feet were swollen. Mike took my blood pressure over the course of 4 hours and it was quite high and not going down. I called labor and delivery and they said it would be smart to go in that night but reasonable to wait and go into my drs office the next morning. I went into the office, they took my bp and everyone started freaking out...it was near 150/95 which is a sign of preeclampsia. I was admitted to triage for observation cuz at that time there was no protein in my urine. Evie's heartrate was really high..in the 170's-180. I was nervous about that but then all of a sudden while laying there, my bp went down to normal and her heartrate was back down to 130-140. I sat in triage for about 5 hours. My cell phone had no signal and there wasnt a working phone in my room. My dr wanted me to have an Anes consult for my csectiion, so someone came to talk to me..said they would check on things and be back to see me...she never came back. I just felt really annoyed from the start. Annoyed that i was going through something unknown again. I thought we had everything figured out. I was kinda freaking out....pretty close to losing it.
One of my tests came back a little abnormal. The protein unrine test cut off for normal is 2..and mine was 2.2. So this was enough for me to be admitted and put on a 24 hour unrine collection cycle. I stayed overnight and peed in a bucket so they could check my protein levels. the test was supposed to end at 4:30 thursday and sent off to the lab. They wanted me to stay one more night so they could tell me the results and be released or if needed they would deliver the baby. This morning one of the residents came in to let me know that someone in the lab LOST MY URINE JUG!!! this jug was HUGE and full of urine..how do you loose sometihng like that?! UGH...so i had to wait to talk to my drs about either staying overnight again or going home with a new jug to pee in.
I might add that i have not had any problems with IU hospital thus far. Everyone has been excellent and i have had the best care i could have hoped for! When my drs came in to talk with me I was at a breaking point. I was uncomfortable,i was realizing that i had been going through this emotional rollercoaster for the last 5 months and i was DONE! At 34 weeks, i was wondering how much more my body could handle. My body literally tells me every day that it is almost at its final stretch. I told them exactly how i was feeling. I was firm without being a bitch about it. I let them know that i need to have a plan...an answer from anesthesia, and a date for my csection. I told them that i have been so patient and strong through this whole thing, and now i just need to see my baby...soon!
They totally understood, told me that i was one of the best patients they have had and they left, talked with Dr s, and within 2 hours Dr s was in my room with all the answers that i needed. They located my urine and ran the test which came back relatively normal. I have the beginning stages of preeclampsia(nothing serious at this point). Im going to have biweekly nonstress tests to check the baby and my bp for the next 2 weeks before i deliver. We will not have an epidural so it will be a csection under general anes on....wait for it.......wait for it......TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 7TH AT 9AM!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
it feels so amazingly great to have a date!!! Im so anxious, so grateful and so amazed by this whole pregnancy. Everything has been leading up to this wonderful date. Lets hope the next couple weeks go by quickly! I have another ultrasound next week to find out her weight and growth.
so now im at home taking it easy again for the next couple weeks. I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. Everything will be worth it on september 7th!
What an adventure! sigh......
Once again i was reminded that this pregnancy was never planned to be easy. Wednesday night i started feeling weird. I was dizzy, had a headache and my feet were swollen. Mike took my blood pressure over the course of 4 hours and it was quite high and not going down. I called labor and delivery and they said it would be smart to go in that night but reasonable to wait and go into my drs office the next morning. I went into the office, they took my bp and everyone started freaking out...it was near 150/95 which is a sign of preeclampsia. I was admitted to triage for observation cuz at that time there was no protein in my urine. Evie's heartrate was really high..in the 170's-180. I was nervous about that but then all of a sudden while laying there, my bp went down to normal and her heartrate was back down to 130-140. I sat in triage for about 5 hours. My cell phone had no signal and there wasnt a working phone in my room. My dr wanted me to have an Anes consult for my csectiion, so someone came to talk to me..said they would check on things and be back to see me...she never came back. I just felt really annoyed from the start. Annoyed that i was going through something unknown again. I thought we had everything figured out. I was kinda freaking out....pretty close to losing it.
One of my tests came back a little abnormal. The protein unrine test cut off for normal is 2..and mine was 2.2. So this was enough for me to be admitted and put on a 24 hour unrine collection cycle. I stayed overnight and peed in a bucket so they could check my protein levels. the test was supposed to end at 4:30 thursday and sent off to the lab. They wanted me to stay one more night so they could tell me the results and be released or if needed they would deliver the baby. This morning one of the residents came in to let me know that someone in the lab LOST MY URINE JUG!!! this jug was HUGE and full of urine..how do you loose sometihng like that?! UGH...so i had to wait to talk to my drs about either staying overnight again or going home with a new jug to pee in.
I might add that i have not had any problems with IU hospital thus far. Everyone has been excellent and i have had the best care i could have hoped for! When my drs came in to talk with me I was at a breaking point. I was uncomfortable,i was realizing that i had been going through this emotional rollercoaster for the last 5 months and i was DONE! At 34 weeks, i was wondering how much more my body could handle. My body literally tells me every day that it is almost at its final stretch. I told them exactly how i was feeling. I was firm without being a bitch about it. I let them know that i need to have a plan...an answer from anesthesia, and a date for my csection. I told them that i have been so patient and strong through this whole thing, and now i just need to see my baby...soon!
They totally understood, told me that i was one of the best patients they have had and they left, talked with Dr s, and within 2 hours Dr s was in my room with all the answers that i needed. They located my urine and ran the test which came back relatively normal. I have the beginning stages of preeclampsia(nothing serious at this point). Im going to have biweekly nonstress tests to check the baby and my bp for the next 2 weeks before i deliver. We will not have an epidural so it will be a csection under general anes on....wait for it.......wait for it......TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 7TH AT 9AM!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
it feels so amazingly great to have a date!!! Im so anxious, so grateful and so amazed by this whole pregnancy. Everything has been leading up to this wonderful date. Lets hope the next couple weeks go by quickly! I have another ultrasound next week to find out her weight and growth.
so now im at home taking it easy again for the next couple weeks. I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. Everything will be worth it on september 7th!
What an adventure! sigh......
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
This has been such a fun week! Mike always takes this week off way in advance because our anniversary is on the 7th. This year,for obvious reasons it turns out that we arent really able to go on a trip. It worked out nicely for mike to have a week off to work on all of my nesting projects.By saying "my nesting projects" you might be lead to beleive that im making him do things...oh dont let him fool you..he is LOVING it! He spent the first 2 days painting the nursery, putting all the furniture together and giving me updates from upstairs about he and our cat sat in blue paint.
BLUE!!! we made a last minute change and decided not to paint the nursery green and switched to a tiffany/robin egg blue. its lovely and works perfect with the birdie theme! The bedding works perfect, the crib is perfect..everything just worked out so well! Ill have pics up soon when its done. I have some decorating projects im going to be working on in the last few weeks that im really excited about.
im wanting to make these adorable paper bird cages and i have the perfect spot for them!
Mike pretty much insisted on getting his own diaper bag, which makes total sense since he will be mr mom while im at work a couple days out of the week..so he got the diaper dude bag he had been wanting..pretty sweet!!!
These last few weeks of my bedrest prison are becoming a little more bearable. I feel a little better about doing small things. I actually did walk up the stairs to see the nursery and help organize stuff..i wasnt going to miss out on everything! :)
My body usually lets me know when i need to sit or lay down and relax and i listen to it. I never overdo it really...but really any movement, like walking up a couple steps makes me feel like im pushing myself. I cant wait to have some of my energy back!
Ive heard about soon to be parents who just like to sit in the nursery and go in and organize the same stuff over and over. I have a feeling that will be us. Last night we sat in there for a while just talking about everything. we played around with the monitors and sniffed baby shampoo. Its getting pretty real..and pretty freaking close.
we are...happy!
BLUE!!! we made a last minute change and decided not to paint the nursery green and switched to a tiffany/robin egg blue. its lovely and works perfect with the birdie theme! The bedding works perfect, the crib is perfect..everything just worked out so well! Ill have pics up soon when its done. I have some decorating projects im going to be working on in the last few weeks that im really excited about.
im wanting to make these adorable paper bird cages and i have the perfect spot for them!
pretty cute huh?!
im planning to have a craft party and have my creative friends help me! fun!!
our diaper bags came in the mail yesterday! We ended up getting our choice diaper bags for FREE!! we used our debit card reward points that we had been saving up for the last 6 months. Luckily both of them were on the website! pretty sweet deal! Both diaper bags were like 60 bucks retail! awwwesome deal...cuz i wouldnt have paid that money for it! i ended up going with this jjcole bag...i cant wait to use it!
Mike pretty much insisted on getting his own diaper bag, which makes total sense since he will be mr mom while im at work a couple days out of the week..so he got the diaper dude bag he had been wanting..pretty sweet!!!
These last few weeks of my bedrest prison are becoming a little more bearable. I feel a little better about doing small things. I actually did walk up the stairs to see the nursery and help organize stuff..i wasnt going to miss out on everything! :)
My body usually lets me know when i need to sit or lay down and relax and i listen to it. I never overdo it really...but really any movement, like walking up a couple steps makes me feel like im pushing myself. I cant wait to have some of my energy back!
Ive heard about soon to be parents who just like to sit in the nursery and go in and organize the same stuff over and over. I have a feeling that will be us. Last night we sat in there for a while just talking about everything. we played around with the monitors and sniffed baby shampoo. Its getting pretty real..and pretty freaking close.
we are...happy!
Monday, August 2, 2010
LABOR.okay...ill admit it. Im terrified of it. Ive always been terrified of it. Labor for a woman with marfan syndrome is a very scary concept and now that im reaching the point of actually going through all of this, i am getting pretty freaked out. Luckily, my condition is very mild. I have very little dialtion in the aorta of my heart and my bones are pretty strong. This is why my dr keeps asking me about the possibilities of a vaginal delivery. Weve been having this discussion since my 8 week apt and it still hasnt reached the final decision point yet.
Here are the issues for a vaginal delivery:
*the aorta of my heart is weak and at risk of tearing: pushing is not a good option because of the stress it would put on my aorta..however,pushing is usually essential in the birthing process.
* an epidural is unlikely due to the fact that i have metal rods fused to my spine that run down the length of my back. Without an epidural it is pretty impossible to stop pushing. If i was able to have an epidural, i would be allowed to push once and then be assisted from there. Still not quite clear on the assist part and not sure if im totally comfortable with it if it involves a vacum type object.
* My dr did say that there is an injection they can give me straight into my pelvis to numb everything down there once labor has progressed enough and they need to prevent me from pushing. Even with this, i wonder how long i would have to be in labor before they would give me the injection.
-now there is the c section option which makes the most sense to me. The only issue with this option is the unlikelyhood of an epidural or spinal block. This would leave me with a csection under general anesthesia which would mean i would be asleep and miss everything. heres the thing...IM FINE WITH IT!!! really.. i AM!!! Mike and i have known this would most likely be the best option even before we got pregnant. We knew that this would be the safest option and we were willing to just go with it.Im not sure if everyone knows this or not, but im getting a little tired of the idea that this is not in my chart yet.
when i was in the hospital with bulging membranes at 24 weeks an anesthesiologist came in to talk with me. He felt around on my back and said he would get back with us about whether or not he thought an epi would be safe. He never did and its STILL not in my chart!
I know my dr has my best interest in mind and i get the feeling that he wants to try to give me a vaginal delivery. I just feel very apprehensive about it. I know there are alot of unknowns with labor..noone knows exactly how its going to work. I just feel that with my situation, i need things to be finalized. I need something in writing just in case my dr isnt there and i have some resident not knowing whats going on. Last time i was in labor and delivery a resident actually said " okay well i know you have marfans so this will have to be an assisted labor with vacum correct?" I quickly corrected her and said i never agreed to that and that i had already signed a consent for a csection. aaaaaaaaahhhh, seriously? what the heck?
All in all, i hope to have things more planned out in the next few weeks. My dr said he would talk to the anesthesiologist and have all of that finalized. He said he would look into our options.
im just scared and venting...but i know everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
Here are the issues for a vaginal delivery:
*the aorta of my heart is weak and at risk of tearing: pushing is not a good option because of the stress it would put on my aorta..however,pushing is usually essential in the birthing process.
* an epidural is unlikely due to the fact that i have metal rods fused to my spine that run down the length of my back. Without an epidural it is pretty impossible to stop pushing. If i was able to have an epidural, i would be allowed to push once and then be assisted from there. Still not quite clear on the assist part and not sure if im totally comfortable with it if it involves a vacum type object.
* My dr did say that there is an injection they can give me straight into my pelvis to numb everything down there once labor has progressed enough and they need to prevent me from pushing. Even with this, i wonder how long i would have to be in labor before they would give me the injection.
-now there is the c section option which makes the most sense to me. The only issue with this option is the unlikelyhood of an epidural or spinal block. This would leave me with a csection under general anesthesia which would mean i would be asleep and miss everything. heres the thing...IM FINE WITH IT!!! really.. i AM!!! Mike and i have known this would most likely be the best option even before we got pregnant. We knew that this would be the safest option and we were willing to just go with it.Im not sure if everyone knows this or not, but im getting a little tired of the idea that this is not in my chart yet.
when i was in the hospital with bulging membranes at 24 weeks an anesthesiologist came in to talk with me. He felt around on my back and said he would get back with us about whether or not he thought an epi would be safe. He never did and its STILL not in my chart!
I know my dr has my best interest in mind and i get the feeling that he wants to try to give me a vaginal delivery. I just feel very apprehensive about it. I know there are alot of unknowns with labor..noone knows exactly how its going to work. I just feel that with my situation, i need things to be finalized. I need something in writing just in case my dr isnt there and i have some resident not knowing whats going on. Last time i was in labor and delivery a resident actually said " okay well i know you have marfans so this will have to be an assisted labor with vacum correct?" I quickly corrected her and said i never agreed to that and that i had already signed a consent for a csection. aaaaaaaaahhhh, seriously? what the heck?
All in all, i hope to have things more planned out in the next few weeks. My dr said he would talk to the anesthesiologist and have all of that finalized. He said he would look into our options.
im just scared and venting...but i know everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
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